needsacatchphrase | New York City, NY

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New York City, NY - Saturday Afternoon

Today was the day that Jane was going to go out and give heroing a try! With Raiden along as moral support and backup. Which, unfortunately, lead to a fair number of people stopping them on the street to ask him to take a selfie with them, thinking he was Thor with the short hair again.

It was only a little awkward for everyone other than the people who got their selfies.

Jane, very wisely, sent a text to Valkyrie to give her a heads up that no, Thor was not back on earth. It was just some overzealous fans.

"So, this could have gone better," she admitted.

[For the clone!]

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"Oh, I like that!" She'd totally take it.

If you had to differentiate between your Thors, this was clearly the way to go.

A cluster of what looked to be college girls scuttled by, and as they passed one of them could clearly be heard to say, "I told you they were back together!"

"I'm not him!" Raiden called after them, but was roundly ignored. "Next time let's go to my universe and hunt demons," he suggested.

"Oh! I got to kill one with Wanda," she told him excitedly. "It was this crab... thing. Very intimidating."

And they burned that body and teleported it into another realm. Never to become a problem for anyone.

"Yeah, some of them can get weird," Raiden said. "We'll probably only run into shades, though, if we do go on patrol. They look like shadows." Hence the name. "I didn't know you knew a demon hunter?" Did he? It felt like something he wouldn't forget.

"Oh no, Wanda's a witch. She's learning new things and we thought it'd be a good combination of things with me fighting and her summoning them."

And nothing could go wrong with it. Nothing.

"She's a witch who...summoned...a demon."

Where he was from that usually wasn't great!

"But it was for practice." And she was clearly not evil or anything. Jeeze, Raiden.

What did she need to practice summoning demons for, exactly...?

"Maybe things are really different from my universe in hers," he decided, opting to believe the best in everybody here.

Jane Middlename Foster, you had a PhD. "Just, you know. Be careful with demons. They're...tricky. And evil. Can't forget the evil."

Yeah, but Thor vouched for her!

...wait, he also vouched for Loki. Shit. Shit.

"I'm sure she's being safe with it," Jane replied, trying to be loyal to the whole Avenger thing. "And I wouldn't have learned the cool trick I can do with Mjolnir without her."

Consider Raiden thoroughly distracted. "You learned a cool trick with Mjolnir? I wanna see!"

"So, I just--" She swung the hammer and the head of it seemed to explode outward into shards that definitely caused a little cosmetic damage to the buildings near them before freezing in place and coming back together to reform the hammer as it was.

Eh, it was New York, the architecture was used to it by now.

"That's so cool!"

"Right?" She was way hyped for it.

"We gotta find something you can use that on," Raiden declared. "Where's the sketchy part of town? Wait, it's New York. It probably has fifty of those."

One of which was being micromanaged by a blind lawyer dressed as the devil, so it didn't need their intervention.

"There has to be, right?" Jane said, boldly striding off toward a neighborhood that may or may not be bad.

There had to be some fun for them to have somewhere.

("OH MY GOD you're Thor!"

"No, she's--okay sure, I'll just...bend down to get in the shot...")

Raiden was now practically jogging to catch up with Jane.

Which was, of course, when they came across an alleyway where a man on stilts was teetering down.

"Um."

"Oh, is there a circus?" Raiden asked. Or was he a street performer?

Or a supervillain with a really weird bit? Maybe that?

"Maybe he's a street performer," Jane suggested, clearly just copying that narrative.

Oh wait, he had a gun too.

"Oh, wait, he has a gun." The narrative was fun! "That's...not good. Uh. Hammer time?"

No, that was probably copyrighted.

"Who do you think you are?" the man in the ridiculous stilts demanded, pointing his gun at them.

"Here to... stop you?" Jane ventured, looking at Raiden like this was just confusing. Because they just happened across him.

"I-I mean, we should probably find out what he's doing...in an alley...on stilts...with a gun."

Raiden had stumbled over weirder things in alleys, but it had been a while.

"In a very weird costume," Jane added, helpfully.

"You're wearing a cape!" Which. Rude, pal.

"I think the cape is cool," Raiden told her as he pulled off his shirt in case he needed his wings, then resettled his cap on his head like the dork he was.

"Seriously, bro, what's up with the..." Raiden gestured to Stilt Dude's whole situation.

"Why are you taking your shirt off?" Stilt-Man asked, now looking very concerned. Like, deeply concerned. "Why is he taking his shirt off?"

Jane was a little confused too, but mostly into it. Look, a woman had needs. "For justice, pal!" she tried, going for a tough hero voice.

"You should get a good grip on your shaft now," Raiden advised her.

This was not what it looked like.

"It's really more of a handle," Jane said, not at all in that tough superhero voice. Which just ruined the whole thing.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?"

Raiden. Raiden was happening here. "Oh, well, then I'm sure that you can handle it." That pun was weak, buddy.

"Nice!" Jane, please do not encourage this with a high-five.

See? This was why they were friends. "You're going down, buddy!" Also not in a porno way. "...assuming you've done something wrong..." But, you know, gun.

"I haven't done anything illegal!"

Jane looked at the gun a little more. "Yet?"

"Second amendment rights!" he shouted, waving that gun. Oh no, he was one of those people.

"Oh, you're one of those guys." Wait. "That doesn't explain the stilts." Or the rest of the whole...look.

"Yeah, why stilts?" Jane asked, hefting the hammer up over her shoulder.

"Look, sometimes you need a gimmick here," Stilt-Man answered. Also, he'd been created back in the day when everything went. Just go look at Paste Pot Pete

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New York City, NY - Saturday Afternoon

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