needsacatchphrase | Wisconsin State Fair, Saturday

Wisconsin State Fair, Saturday

Well, Jane had mentioned checking out ridiculous Midwestern fair food with Wanda sometime this summer. And it was a good enough weekend to escape the heat of Maryland for the cloudy and slightly drizzly weather of Wisconsin.

Portalocity was great for that.

"Are pickles a thing here?" Jane asked like Wanda might now. Wanda who was decidedly not from the US. Yep.

[for the lady mentioned! NFB, obvs]

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"Yes," Jane said, grinning at that idea. "Oh, and those cream puffs."

That was going to make the biggest mess and probably go viral when someone got a picture.

"It's only right we try both," Wanda said with a nod. "We're here on official New Asgard business, after all."

Taste testers for a future fair.

"I think we'll pass on the alligator even though I just know they'd love to eat it there."

And also ask if they could be used as mounts in combat.

They were so close to the ground it'd be impractical to use them as mounts!

"I don't think there's any kind of meat they'd turn down," she said. "Except for, like, human, but I bet that's just for moral reasons, not because they think it wouldn't taste good."

"I don't think I really want to check that," she admitted. "Considering how weird myths about them can be?"

At least most of them were pretty wrong.

"Yeah, some things are best left a mystery," she agreed. "Do you think they'll go for the livestock portion of fairs? Like judging the prettiest cow and all that?"

It wasn't a cow beauty contest, Wanda.

"I think so?" Jane said, peering over the crowd to check if they were near that at all. Even though they'd probably smell it if they were. "And pigs and chickens too."

They really didn't understand what the point of the competition was at all.

"Oh, maybe there will be baby ones."

"Ohhh that would be so cute!" Wanda said. "But I wouldn't be able to judge on the prettiest, I don't want that kind of responsibility on my shoulders."

Again, not what they judged.

"We can judge privately." Guys, no.

"We'll avoid hurt feelings that way." If not from the animals, then from the farmers who raised them.

She tilted her head at another sign. "Pickles on a donut?"

"That sounds like pregnancy food," Jane said, wrinkling up her nose at it. "Or drunk food."

Which was remarkably similar.

"I'll try the pickle donut if you try the pickle corndog," Wanda challenged.

"Oh, easy," Jane replied, already getting into line. Because she could use her new bulk to scare people off from trying to cut. "You picked the worst one, I'll have you know. Pickles totally work as a corndog."

"The concept of a corndog in general disturbs me." Which was the only thing one needed to prove Wanda wasn't American. "Pastries I understand."

"It's just a hot dog surrounded by deep fried cornbread---okay, I can see how that's weird now," Jane admitted, trying to think of it from Wanda or maybe someone from Asgard's perspective. "But fried pickles are good bar food, so this has to be the same, right?"

"I would think so," she said, nodding. "Also bodes well for the donut. It'll be like...a fried bagel."

Hopefully.

"We can split them," Jane said with a nod. "To confirm for both things."

And in case they were bad.

Wanda made a face at the idea of consuming a corndog but realized fair was fair. “Okay, deal. Are we actually going back to Valkyrie with reviews?”

"We are here on official business, but... I didn't bring a pen or anything, so we might just have to come back for that," Jane said, trying to appear completely innocent about using their connections to have fun here.

"We can be like those people on the internet who take artsy photos of their food." They just had to remember to take the photos before eating.

"Ooo, good plan." In no way would they remember until bites had already been taken. "Should we get also get the... pickle fudge?"

Yeah, it took her a little bit to actually get the words out there. Because what even?

"How about we get it and then make Steve try it when he's not a dog?" Pickle fudge sounds like something they made during the war because of rationing, sure.

Jane nodded in agreement with that. "You know you've lived a weird life when that's a normal thing to say."

"And it's one of the more normal weird things to say," Wanda admitted. "We do seem to turn into animals a lot."

"Better than disappearing from reality, I guess."

Shared trauma!

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